Attitude, What Drives You

Posted: June 29, 2011 in Uncategorized

I feel a little weird this week. This is going to mark heavy post #2 since Monday’s will I or won’t I compete again blog.

… that’s so not like me. But anyway. I’m 2 1/2 weeks out and have a lot on my mind, so please stick with me and you shall be rewarded with baking and Becca eating her way through Montreal and Ottawa blog posts shortly.

In Monday’s blog I mentioned attitude. I believe I used the term “cut throat”. Part of me feels bad, part of me doesn’t at all because it’s just how I feel. 

I used to pretty much exclusively follow competitor blogs, competitor tweets, competitor lifestyles. I liked interacting with people who “get it” and who will understand why I’m doing what I’m doing and feeling the way I do.

eastern 001

But lately…  I find myself skipping over those blogs when they pop up in my reader, unfollowing people on twitter and choosing to fill up my free time with healthy living blogs and positive people.

Please don’t take that as I don’t like anyone else who competes, that couldn’t be further from the truth. I still follow and cheer for a large number of friends who compete, but in my “I want to immerge myself in the lifestyle” phase I began following people who were not right for ME.

I’m a firm believer that there isn’t one way to prep. What works for me isn’t going to work for everyone, and what they do may not be my cup of tea. Just like every runner or swimming training plan isn’t the same, neither is prep.

Nor should it be. You need to do what works for you.

Repeatedly hearing that you MUST do cardio on an empty stomach (not for me), starchy carbs are bad, nut butters are bad, white fish and broccoli is where it’s at, having a trainer makes me less worthy got hard.

vacay 022Sure I’ve had this meal (… once???) during prep, it’s not something I could or would want to eat constantly.

While I don’t expect people to always agree with my choices, I do believe you should respect how people prep and not try and bring them down or make them question everything they do. It’s not healthy. 

I found myself no longer being positive about MY prep, wondering if I should be doing something more drastic, making bigger changes… Changes that to ME would be unhealthy.

Totally defeats my goals of a sane and healthy prep.

Along those same lines I began wondering what was driving me forward in prep. What was the push behind my motivation in the gym, in the kitchen, practicing my posing.

Was it some girl across the gym giving me the evil eye? Was it someone talking smack about me behind my back?

Seriously Becca, get over yourself.

jan 17 012None of those thoughts are healthy and none of that is WHY I choose to compete. I’m not out to beat Sally smith machine squats or 3 hour cardio Joe.

I’m out to beat me. Plain and simple.

Every workout is for me.

Every cardio is for me.

Every meal and snack is for me.

Learning about my body, making changes in my body and becoming healthier, happier and a more … zen??… Becca.

I already made the decision once this prep to remove a very important person from my life that was no longer a positive influence.

If I was willing and mentally ready to release that negativity, why was I holding onto the negativity from legit total strangers out there in the interwebs?

Ummm… Logic, where are you!?

So despite my hesitation and resistance to compete again, I am choosing to only allow the positive people in my life to stick around. I’m keeping my attitude true to who I am and who I want to become in the future and keeping foolishly crazy smile on my face because I know at the end of the day I am not only proud of this prep, but proud of who I’ve become because of this prep and because of the changes I was able to make in my personal life during this prep.

jan 31 016

So yup. I may not be the most  competitively driven person on stage July 16th, but I will be the best me on the stage because I chose to compete against no one but myself.

… and I’m A-ok with that.

  1. Jess says:

    LOVE this!! EVERYONE is different, so it’s safe to assume that everyone’s workouts/prep SHOULD be different. Stay true to yourself ❤

  2. I love this attitude! I love how you’re taking the course you feel is best 🙂

    I agree with you on many levels. I enjoy fitness blogs and tweets etc, but for me there’s more to the world then JUST. Good on you 🙂

  3. Becca you have a great attitude towards this. I think that it means you are doing it all for the right reasons. And it’s a good thing to question goals now and then — to me it just shows dedication and passion!

  4. I’m all about competing against myself. I love that attitude!!! Personal bests. That’s what it’s all about.

  5. sarah says:

    So.. me expressing concern about how unbalanced the direction you were heading in was completely negative and out of line, right?
    Wait, isnt that what you’re admitting that you WERE doing?

    I’m SUCH a negative influence, it’s rediculous.

  6. Woot woot! GREAT attitude girl! There’s nothing like doing something for YOU when it comes to, well, YOU. Haha. Make sense? Keep rockin’ Becca…

  7. By the way, when it gets tough and you’re feeling like you’re surrounded by negativity, just remember…negativity follows those who welcome it.

  8. Dotsie says:

    Whoop whoop! Great post! You’re right, they’re some crazy meatheads out there! 😛 you’re gonna rock the stage with or without broc and fish!

  9. Becca, I LOVE YOU. Seriously. I so could not agree more. I am sick to death of hearing about “RIGHT” and “WRONG” in…well, in life in general. I don’t think it’s appropriate or accurate ANYWHERE. We are all on our own paths and our own journeys and I think it’s so crucial to RESPECT that…and not make blanket statements!

    And seriously? GOOD FOR YOU for getting all those negative influences out of your life. It’s so hard to actually do that, no matter how necessary it is — cutting ties with people, no matter how close or distant you were at the time of the separation, is much, much easier said than done.

  10. I really love the attitude you have towards this competition. And honestly, I think it gives you an edge- the confidence is so important!

    And I ended up dropping a lot of blogs from my reader a few months ago. I kept comparing myself and getting stuck in “the trap” of just doing stuff because I felt like it was expected. Even though this week I seem to be in more of a “mood”, I’m much happier with what I’ve been posting as a whole…

  11. I’m glad you cut all of that out of your life. You are awesome. I love reading your blogs and you are right-you are doing this for you and no one else. Although you are going to do so fabulous at your competition. 🙂

  12. I’m so glad you commented on my blog because I don’t know that I would have ever found you!

    I think one of the reasons I LOVE running so much is that it allows me to be competitive with myself. I’m not comparing my running with others – we all run for different reasons and at different speeds. I imagine it is incredibly hard to compete – especially with other women and ones that I’m SURE you have become friends with.

    Good for you for acknowledging this isn’t the person you want to be. Perspective and attitude add so much enjoyment to your life if it’s positive!

  13. marlopnwgirl says:

    Well said Miss… Well said!

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