Yes, But How Did You DO?

Posted: July 25, 2011 in Uncategorized

I’ve been debating on writing this post for a week now. It’s something that kind of angers me and will probably come out the wrong way.

But ummm… if you ask a stupid question, you deserve a stupid answer right?

As you all clearly know, I competed last weekend in my one and only competition for the year… and possibly my last. 

capclassic 069It was a great experience, I met my personal goals, I had a ton of fun and I had stated time and time again before I even left the city for Ottawa I did not care if I placed or not.

Clearly part of us ALWAYS wants to win, but this show was about so much more than that for me, and yes, obviously I would like to win, but I wasn’t sad/disappointed or remotely shocked when I wasn’t called out for top 5.

(FYI: I got 7th in figure…. we won’t discuss my less than skanky fitness model placing. just no. lol)

capclassic 025 I got amazing support from all of my online (and in person of course!) friends and no one gave any stupid responses to me saying I had a great time, but no I didn’t place. Actually, I never really said no, I didn’t place, just that I wasn’t top five but honestly everyone was more than content hearing that I was feeling amazing, happy and had zero regrets about this show.

…. and then “THE” comment popped up on twitter.

“How was the show?!”

… it was great, I had a blast, I met lots of great people, accomplished all of my goals and felt better and looked better than ever before!

“… yes, that’s all good I guess, but how did you DO?”

Okay, first off I wanted to repeat what I had previously said, but I took the mature route and simply said I did not place.

capclassic 066The only thing I ended the night holding was a PB jar.

Is it really necessary to state the obvious?

Newsflash, if I won, I’d have posted 76577 photos of me holding/kissing/hugging my trophy.

… and then would proceed to write 17 blog posts about how shocked and in awe I was about it.

… and then put 8765887 more photos in an “outtake album”

Like really, if you ask someone how a competition went and they give a response like I did, they probably didn’t place, and honestly they probably didn’t care.

How should competing really be much different than a race? When someone says “omg! I PR’d on my half marathon!!!!”

Is the next question “Yes, but how did you do in relation to everyone else?”

Clearly no, no it’s not. 

5miles(FYI: I was 108th out of 301, and 19th out of 45 in my age group… just sayin! )

So how is it ANY different that for me, this show was my PB, but I still wasn’t what the judges were looking for?

This is a subjective sport and honestly I found that comment cold and really just mean spirited. Yes, I may be being over sensitive here, but I will clarify that the person who made this comment is “working towards competing”… but tweets daily about falling off the wagon.

Please don’t judge me for not winning and I won’t judge you for not sticking to your plan. All I’m wanting is respect, for my goals, and for my hard work. Asking a question like that felt like everything I did was for nothing.

I didn’t win so therefore it was pointless to compete.

Which couldn’t be further from the truth.

I really don’t know where I was going with this, but just let me say, no matter what your friends’ sport/activity/poison is… remember that no matter how they place/do/finish means NOTHING as long as they reached their own personal goals.

… and trust me, we ALL have goals.

So give them a big congrats, a big hug and support them. I really don’t think that’s asking too much!

capclassic 036 … and now I will step off my soapbox and get to packing!

How do you feel about this? Is winning everything? Or would you be more than happy just accomplishing your personal goals?

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Comments
  1. Kimmy says:

    Amen Becca!!! I did my 3rd race on Saturday. It was my first time doing an 8km. My other two races were 5k. I was over the moon that I finished it without dying. I also didn’t finish dead last like I did with my first race. I received a lot of congratulations but then got the “Yeah but what was your time and how did you do?” I don’t care how long it took me to complete the race – at least I DID the race and finished it!

    I am so proud of you! You are a true inspiration to me for so many reasons. You ARE a winner with or without a trophy.

  2. Tenecia says:

    Winning is nice…I think….I haven’t technically “won” a show so I’m assuming it’s an awesome feeling 🙂 But it really does bug me when all people want to know about the show is “did you place”….there’s more to getting on stage than placing…you & I both know that…

    And feel free to get on your soapbox anytime – I’ll be in the audience yelling “Preach it!!” 🙂

    T.

  3. Excuse me, but with that rockin’ bod, you totally won. Forget what anybody else says.

  4. Dotsie says:

    I totally agree-reaching personal goals is success. I don’t need the trophy and I wouldn’t hound someone over something like this. Another great post!!!

  5. Ana says:

    Stepping on stage is the winning part and this person obviously doesn’t know how to say things so don’t let that bother you. You did amazing and you accomplished your goal which is the important part. Keep going and don’t let anybody bring you down!!!

  6. Heather says:

    Is there a trophy big enough to replace the feeling of accomplishment anyways?

    And did I read … possibly last comp ever? Just curious why?

  7. Jess says:

    Winning is definitely not everything–just getting up there and competing is AMAZING!!

  8. Ann says:

    I agree with Ana – stepping on stage makes you the winner! Don’t worry about others….the yardstick I know you measure yourself by is your own. Congratulations!

  9. I am 95% sure I saw that exchange on Twitter and CRINGED. I wanted to be like “Um HI IF YOU HAVE THAT QUESTION MAYBE YOU SHOULD CLICK ON HER BLOG LINK” but…not kosher I guess? Moving on.

    BB/figure/bikini/fitness/etc is SO subjective. That’s part of the reason I want no part of it. One day the judges want harder figures, the next they want more feminine curves. It’s not like a race where it’s linear and set in stone. And you are totally right…you never see people respond to “I just ran my first [or second, or seventeenth] half!” with “where did you finish?!” Interesting.

  10. You stated that respectfully, clearly, adn with class! I think you did fantastic and you looked FANTASTIC!

    I do have a question–you mentioned it might be your last–I’d be interested (ok, as your FRIEND) I wanna know what’s goin on in that head of yours 🙂

  11. LOVE IT!!! I competed as well in april…and no i did not win, but winning is NOT everything, its reaching your goal..getting there…KILLIN it and moving on. Its about personal achievement, not a trophy

  12. I hear you 110% I haven’t competed in a figure event yet, but I have run marathons and dance competitively. I never compete to win, but always to do my best. The thing is there is only 1 winner and sometimes 500-30,000 racers and competitors whose prep was just as hard and whose journey was just as momentous. In addition to that placing is subjective, every competition is different and every judge looks for something different. Placing can be subject to politics and lord knows what else, so why put pressure on yourself to defeat things that can be our of your control. I’m not putting down people who place, or go in it to win it, because placing is fantastic and everyone who competes ultimately does it to bring themselves to the next level, but I think competition should first be about bringing your best and staying true to yourself not a trophy, placing or title.

    p.s. My first marathon was one of the greatest days of my life. I placed 300 something out of 500 something and I don’t care, it was one of the proudest days of my life and placing had no affect on the positive energy and emotion that made up that day To me crossing that finish line felt like winning first place.

  13. For me, competing is ALL about improving myself with each show. Placing or not. I enjoy to camaraderie backstage and the sense of accomplishment once it’s over. I could care less if I place or don’t. I can honestly say I had just as much fun at the show I placed 7th out of 8 girls, as I did at the show I won. And still walked away from both showing knowing I needed to continue improving certain things. And I think that is how it should be. I’m not chasing a coveted Pro card. I’m just working to be the best me I can be (and a little less jiggly).

    Props to you for being the bigger person and realizing placing isn’t the be all end all.

  14. cortthesport says:

    Most people who insist on knowing “how you did” probably know very little about the sport and would not appreciate what goes into it. They have no idea that “how you did” depends on many factors that are outside of your control. Maybe they have never done anything truly competitive themselves. And some people just don’t have filters between the brain and the keyboard.

    Those of us who have not competed on stage like you truly admire the dedication, commitment, and courage it takes to do what you do. Really!!

    I’m a triathlete but I strength train around a number of bodybuilders. No way I could do what you all do!!

    The people who matter know what you have accomplished.

  15. Allie says:

    You are so right! It is nice to win but it isn’t a big deal to not win as long as you are following your dream 🙂

  16. Hwasun says:

    That is simply a rude and dumb question! I think people who ask a question like that are jealous of your achievement or just stupid. Reading this post makes me angry and I can understand how angry this made you. Btw it is amazing how calmly and respectfully you wrote this post. I probably would write angry post if I were you 😉

  17. edebock says:

    My husband taught phys. ed. for years (eons actually!) & after playing a game in class, the kids would invariably ask who won. His stock answer was “Did you play? yes Did you have fun? yes Then you’re a winner!” The same can be said of you. I understand being ticked off by someone else’s lack of sensitivity but don’t let their skewed priorities rob you of anything. You are a winner!

  18. I totallly agree with you! I would have just ignored the comment myself so good for you for replying to the comment and writing this blog post.

  19. Lisa says:

    Becca! I too got that question, but so many times. People didn’t understand when I’d say things went great, had a great time and felt phenominal. I would always get the question, well what place did you come in. UGH! Seriously. I feel ya.

  20. marlopnwgirl says:

    LOL some people are so funny.. I get what they were after.. But yes, your response makes it very obvious you didnt place where you might have hoped in the back of your mind.. and theres no need to keep probing for an answer.. Im amazed at you despite not placing.. Your drive, and outlook on everything is so wonderful and you’ve accomplished many personal goals.. and YOU are whats important.. not some silly ranking..

  21. I’d like to echo basically what everybody above has said. Also, I discovered a long time ago that some people just don’t “get” competing. It’s a personal challenge, and while a trophy is great, it definitely does not define you as a winner. You stuck to your plan, worked your buns off, inspired other people along the way, and looked gorgeous. Winning! 😉

  22. To answer the question about whether winning is everything, I would just like to point toward that super hot photo of you doing a bicep curl in a bikini. Which you need to get in high rez and frame on your wall in your new bedroom, is all I’m sayin’

  23. […] blogged about it in July after my show when someone asked “yes… but how did you do?” and said that if I won I would have 9387569347586934785 photos of me with my trophy and then […]

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