Hot Mess

Posted: October 16, 2011 in Uncategorized

I’m going to be completely and totally 100% honest here.

…. okay, I always am, but part of me hates to be a Debbie downer… even thought this is my own blog.

But here we go.

Total confession. At this very moment I feel like a complete and total hot mess.

I know I can be totally all over the place and completely random…. but I am without a routine in my life, no real kitchen access and well, that alone makes me feel like a total fail.

While I can honestly say that I love my job more and more everyday… being in a new city… with no friends… unsure of the public transit system… working long hours… it’s hard.

Really hard.

I’m finally back to the gym but my eating just feels weird. I didn’t even have a cheat meal this weekend…. although technically my weekend is just beginning today… but still.

I got home from work late today… very late. Well, later than I expected. I ate my tuna and rice cakes, i changed my shirt and immediately left for the gym. I twisted my wrist loading the truck this afternoon and it was throbbing. My workout sucked. I didn’t have time to do cardio. The grocery store closed earlier than I thought.

Just mega.huge.fail.

I walked home. In the rain. Thankfully the lady I live with wasn’t home and I got in the shower and had myself a good long cry. I don’t even know WHY I just felt so emotional.

I can’t do it all every single day and I know that… but something just feels different. I feel different. I want to be the best at everything and have it all together… but honestly, right now I just don’t. At all.

I’m hoping two days off… or at least one… will help get me back to myself, that everything is start to click and I’ll figure it out.

But I guess only time will tell.

Sorry for being a total downer tonight everyone but I know if I didn’t get that out I’d have a miserable night and no one wants that right?

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Comments
  1. Claire says:

    Right!
    Don’t worry hun- its just a bad day, it will pass. Its completely normal to feel overwhelmed in such a new & stressful situation. Sometimes the combo of little things just gets too much. We’ve all been there.
    Enjoy your weekend, rest and have a good cheat meal- things will look brighter in no time. Hang in there! xxx

  2. allieksmith says:

    Aww, it feels good to let it all out sometimes, doesn’t it?! I hope you have a better day tomorrow 🙂

  3. Don’t worry about being a downer on your blog – this is your place to write out your thoughts and feelings or whatever you want! And it’s ok to be down for a day when things just seem to be piling up in the wrong way. This is only temporary – you can get through these feelings and before you know it you will be back to your old self.

  4. Ann says:

    Sometimes if feels good to vent…and have a cry. I hope you feel better and that the weekend does help. I’m pulling for you!

  5. James Burgess says:

    I had a similar experience about 5 years ago, moved to a new town far away from family and friends and anyone I knew. There are days (and weeks) when it feels like nothing is going right, and you just want to go home. Just remember to get a good long distance plan and dont be afraid to call everyone you know if you get really frustrated or lonely!

  6. lisa says:

    Moving can take such a toll on someone, I know that! We have moved so many times in the past few years and will (hopefully) again next year. But moving alone is tough. Even tougher when you move somewhere new and different, where you know no one. Keep your head up girl, things will get better, just let things fall into place.

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