I’m going to be completely and totally 100% honest here.
…. okay, I always am, but part of me hates to be a Debbie downer… even thought this is my own blog.
But here we go.
Total confession. At this very moment I feel like a complete and total hot mess.
I know I can be totally all over the place and completely random…. but I am without a routine in my life, no real kitchen access and well, that alone makes me feel like a total fail.
While I can honestly say that I love my job more and more everyday… being in a new city… with no friends… unsure of the public transit system… working long hours… it’s hard.
I’m finally back to the gym but my eating just feels weird. I didn’t even have a cheat meal this weekend…. although technically my weekend is just beginning today… but still.
I got home from work late today… very late. Well, later than I expected. I ate my tuna and rice cakes, i changed my shirt and immediately left for the gym. I twisted my wrist loading the truck this afternoon and it was throbbing. My workout sucked. I didn’t have time to do cardio. The grocery store closed earlier than I thought.
I walked home. In the rain. Thankfully the lady I live with wasn’t home and I got in the shower and had myself a good long cry. I don’t even know WHY I just felt so emotional.
I can’t do it all every single day and I know that… but something just feels different. I feel different. I want to be the best at everything and have it all together… but honestly, right now I just don’t. At all.
I’m hoping two days off… or at least one… will help get me back to myself, that everything is start to click and I’ll figure it out.
But I guess only time will tell.
Sorry for being a total downer tonight everyone but I know if I didn’t get that out I’d have a miserable night and no one wants that right?