Mildly Crazy

Posted: December 8, 2011 in Uncategorized

Once upon a time I thought I was “hardcore”.

I was up at the ass crack of dawn every morning sucking back giant cups of coffee and doing my cardio while catching up on my sports center highlights from the night before.

april 5 002 

Then it was a shower, metro to work, more coffee, work work work, then back to the gym for my workout, home late, egg whites with PB&J and bed by 9pm.

I was hard-fricking-core.

Or just crazy.

Going to the grocery store or Costco revolved around packing meals and planning to have enough water for me. I truly fancied myself “hardcore” because of how I was. Prep was number 1, I wanted it so frickin bad that I pushed everything aside for it.

Granted I was planning my big move back east so really I couldn’t afford to go out and all that.. but still. I was kind of a loner with no life because prep was everything.

drama Do I regret it?

…. not one teeny tiny bit.

But did I want to do things differently this year?

…. you bet your ass.

I’m much closer to the family now, I have the bestie close by and slowly am working on making new friends in my new city, hell, I’m even considering dating (providing they dont call me chubby!)

It’s only been a week and a half of prep I know… but I really think it’s going well. I’ve gone home, I’ve got out to lunch (…. I had coffee, it wasn’t my meal time and the bestie thankfully gets it!), work, training, life. It’s all in balance.

So last night I was hanging out at home being a bum when I got a text:

“You feel like going for a drink? … Does that fit into your diet? (I’m being serious)”

My response?

“As long as you don’t mind me drinking diet coke I am feeling a drink (I’m being serious)”

And so I did something I haven’t done in… a long time. I put on my big girl pants (you know, jeans) and headed downtown for a “drink”.

As I was getting ready to leave I looked at my watch and knew what I had to do… but what felt so weird doing.

I’ve never felt weird about this before when I was dieting, it was normal.

But this time… it felt different.

june 13 003

I opened the fridge… and tossed a ziploc baggie of egg whites in my purse.

Way back when this would be “hardcore Becca”. Going to the bathroom and chowing down on whatever my meal plan had me eating. (sanitary I know). Hiding my crazy and just thinking to myself “you gotta do what you gotta do”

Um yeah. ugh.

It just felt weird. I got there early, stuffed them into me and went on with my life.

I don’t feel hardcore about it anymore. I feel like it’s part of my life. A part that is mildly crazy and maybe a little silly.

Why do I suddenly feel this way? No idea. Really truly I have no idea when this shift in thought happened, but it did.

Does that mean I’m going to stop packing my meals? Stray from my plan to be “normal”? Half ass workouts?

No, not even a little bit.

All I’m trying to say is i’m aware that prep is not normal in any way shape or form. But with that being said it is my choice and I truly am enjoying this new style of prep and can’t wait to see what the next 19 weeks brings.

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Comments
  1. You just need to do what you need to do for prep but also balance your life around it as well, which looks like you are doing great with! 🙂

    I can’t wait to continue following along on your new prep journey!

  2. Ann says:

    If you are prepping – you have certain restrictions and I suspect your friends will understand. As for eating egg whites that you packed. If that’s what you want…..I think it beats being forced into eating something you don’t want.

    I often have to skip eating out with my friends due to allergies – I can’t, they understand.

    It sounds like you’ve found balance

  3. Julie says:

    I lurked around during your last prep and I would say that you are still pretty “hardcore”!!! Good luck this time around!

  4. Dotsie says:

    I like the new prep style! :-).

  5. AL says:

    I do similar things when it’s time to go out — maintaining friendships and relationships is important to me. I either eat ahead of time or scan the restaurant’s menu online. When everyone’s drinking, I do the diet pop thing, too. So far I haven’t bagged my food while going out. I either eat beforehand or try hard to find something acceptable at the restaurant.

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