Soooo Yesterday was my friday.
To say that it did not go super well would be a bit of an understatement.
I want to blame hunger like I always tended to do when I had a bad day, but umm… I just don’t feel hungry this prep. Yes, some mornings are a bit tough, but honestly by 8pm or so (when the meltdown happened) I’m eating my bigger meals, two hours apart. there is really just no time to feel hungry. Which I love.
I could blame cardio… like I always do. I only had 20 minutes yesterday, but hey, it’s still cardio. I could blame that.
But honestly, I know it’s lack of sleep. Switching to working evenings (12:30-9pm) has been tough. Normally I like to get to bed around 9:30 and get up around 5 or 6. Now I’m not even getting HOME until close to ten. By the time I get my stuff ready for the next day, relax and everything it’s 10:30 or 11 and I’m still not ready for bed. Ugh.
Even when I do fall asleep, I’ve been sleeping like garbage. I think part of it was the head cold I had, but really it’s been tossing, turning and just general crap sleep all week. Yesterday I was up at 5:50, dropped mom off, ran a few errands, did the gym thing, grabbed a coffee and went to work for 12:30. While physically I actually felt pretty good all day, mentally I knew I was tired.
The first half of the day wasn’t bad. A couple hours of training, a couple of hours of really easy, slow work… then it all just started going downhill. I had one customer that was just a nightmare and I started to get stressed out. When I asked for help for a call I received from a store rep (ugh) and started explaining everything and getting my answer i could just slowly feel myself losing it. I was overwhelmed, sick of feeling like a “stupid, retarded, incompetent loser” that I was repeatedly told I was yesterday and I lost it. I got it together thankfully, solved the problem…. but of course the correct answer was not the answer they wanted, they wasted 20 minutes of my time and a joke was made by the person who saw my meltdown.
Um… the joke did not fly with me. It made it worse. Much much worse. I managed to finish up and pretty much wasted my “personal time” up pretty fast locking my computer and going to sit in the bathroom to try and get myself together. I feel like garbage about it. Mentally it had been a long week and I was just over it. I did manage to finish out the 20 or so minutes that were left on my shift but my desire to just walk out and never go back was pretty much 100%.
I know that these people are mad at the company and not me, but it’s hard when their frustration is taken out on me day after day after day. I swear we could PAY people to use our services and they’d still complain. You just can’t win and it sucks, but hey. it is what it is.
And what it is today is… the WEEKEND.
I slept a bit better last night, my head is feeling much less stuffy and I’m curled up in the chair watching tv, drinking coffee and chilling with the Fritz. I feel better but just… ugh. Sometimes being a complete over achiever and wanting to be the best at EVERYTHING I do just sucks. I can’t just do the job, I have to rock it and knowing I had a bad night just ruins it.
So now today is a chill day, running errands, gym and absolutely freaking nothing at all. I can’t wait. Two full days off. Awesome.
Now if only the weather was nice enough to wear my Valentine’s gift to myself I’d be much much happier.
Now if only the snow and ice would disappear… and an event where I could wear them would magically appear… things would be rocking!
Happy Weekend everyone!