What I Wish I Could Say

Posted: March 5, 2012 in Uncategorized

True: I used to be obese

False: Becoming healthy was easy and happened overnight

True: My lifestyle changes took years to develop and become habit and dare I say… enjoyable

False: I never had to work hard to look like I do

jan 002

While I’m an open book when it comes to my blog and if people ask, I don’t hide my past…. but I definitely don’t walk around blah blah blahing about my weight loss, lifestyle changes, or the shell of a person I once was.

None of this happened overnight. I first lost weight in the 9th grade and until I was 24 or so I was a hot mess.

I yo-yo dieted, I did too much cardio, I did no cardio, I ate nothing but apples with PB and kraft dinner, I lifted heavy, I drank a lot, I hated myself.

An overnight change this was not. In the beginning every single day was a struggle. When I first committed to prep, which is when I feel I finally began to control my life instead of letting my disorders control it, every.single.day. was a challenge. I would sit in front of the fridge with a spoon wishing and wanting to grab the tub of icecream and ate until it was empty. I wanted to skip workouts and cardio.

Every single day I had to remind myself why I was making these changes, why I was finally standing up for myself… from my inner self… and saying enough was enough. I wasn’t living and it was time to start, free from the throws of dieting and vicious cycles.


I bet you’re sitting there thinking “would you get to the damn point Becca?!”

Okay, here we go.

A lot of times people will ask me for advice. How did I do it? Was it easy? Did you just start loving vegetables and real foods?

Um no, like I said above. It was a struggle for days. For weeks. For months. Honestly, the first year was really hard and there are admittedly days when I still struggle. I think about how easy it would be to say enough is enough, I’m tired of this. I quit.

I could go back to being your regular run of the mill unhealthy, average girl who didn’t like herself, made excuses for everything that happened and never took pride in herself or her actions.

But I didn’t. And I won’t. Being healthy, having abs, running races, whatever. It’s hard work. But it’s worth it.

How many times do you click on the fitness tab on Pinterest and see bullshit like this?

bodyimage Clearly it’s the typical “thinspiration”. It takes a lot more work… and airbrushing… than that to look like that unless you’re a genetic freak.

So people ask for advice, I almost always give the same answer.

Commit. Do what you love. Make small changes.

Give it time and small changes can make a big impact. You know what they say, becoming unhealthy doesn’t happen overnight, why should being healthy happen overnight?

I saw this the other day and it was so fitting to how I was feeling after yet another “I gave it two whole weeks and only lost 5 lbs” type talk. This happened, I had that event, I worked late… blah blah blah.

suckitup Sometimes I just wish I could say that. I really do. But I never do, and know I never will.

Yes, I get that not everyone has a perfect situation, good genetics or a love for all things healthy and fit…. but you know what? My genetics suck, I love beer and relaxing on the couch and there is NEVER a perfect situation, time or place to make lifestyle changes.

You have to make time. You have to give it time. There is no quick fix. Don’t go asking your healthy and fit friends for advice over and over if you have no intentions of taking it. You and only you can make the change and be READY to make the change. Losing weight for a bf/gf, a big event, a holiday… what’s the point? It’s a temporary solution to a lifelong problem.

Do it for you, for the right reasons. To live a long and happy life. To see your kids grow up and have kids of their own. To spend your life traveling and exploring your passions, not waiting for hours in yet another doctor’s office. Do it for the way you feel and function, not for a number on a scale or pasted on the label of your jeans.

I really don’t mean to offend anyone with this post… I know we all have our struggles, but there comes a point when those struggles becoming a running excuse and it’s time to get over them and move on. Own up to who you are and who you want to be and just do it.

….and now I should shut my trap and get to bed. 

Happy Monday!

  1. Great post! It’s not easy, it’s hard. I negotiate everyday with myself. I hate when I hear friends talk about losing weight while eating a burger and fries! I could go on and on… Seriously, great post!

  2. Tracy says:

    I needed this…I had just emailed my trainer and told her ” I didn’t get fat overnight…and I won’t become fit and healthy overnight”. I have been struggling lately with the number on the scale. I decided 2 weeks ago to not let that number define me. I let it decide how my day is going to be each morning when I wake up. Instead I need to focus on how much weight I can push around and how my ass looks in my jeans!

  3. Sandra says:

    Awesome post! ’nuff said! 🙂

  4. I just stumbled upon your blog for the first time today but I love this post! And I love that quote–too funny! Self-improvement in any form takes work but the pride you feel when you accomplish something for yourself is something that no one can take away from you. It comes from within so it (mostly) is unaffected by what others think or say.

  5. I love this post Becca!!!! I hate, hate, hate the conversations I have with my friends all. the. time. about how they’re so frustrated by their lack of progress. Well um guess what…I sure didn’t look like a fitness model 6-10 months into this either, and back then I *was* at about 18% bodyfat! And no abs! YOU HAVE TO BUILD THEM! And then give them TIME! And try to enjoy the process along the way! Sound easy? Try it. It’s not. As made evident by the fact that over the past ~14 months I have gained oh right around 15lb of fat. Because I gave up…on the dieting end of it anyway. And now I’m back into it. But injured. It NEVER gets easy and everyone always struggles.

  6. Can we please talk about pinterst and that crap they put on there. It seriously annoys me to no en. My favorites are “healthy is the new skinny” or something along those lines…and it’s still a stick girl posing! WTF! ahaha anyways-great post.

  7. This is an awesome post Becca! “I know we all have our struggles, but there comes a point when those struggles becoming a running excuse and it’s time to get over them and move on.” << That is me right now! My struggles have become an excuse and it is seriously my time to get over them and move on. I'm sure you didn't read my mind and know that I needed to read something like this right now but it seriously came at just the right time.

    Keep sharing your opinion and don't worry about offending any one – there is always someone who will disagree with you but there is also always someone who agrees (and benefits from reading your opinion) with you. Keep doing what you're doing!

  8. Kari says:

    Beautiful post. So many good points. Thanks for writing it!

  9. jessica says:

    Thanks girl. The pinterest pictures are my worst enemy. I have to keep myself from comparing myself. Thanks for writing this:)

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