What Do You Identify With?

Posted: June 12, 2012 in Uncategorized

A few weeks ago I was doing my thing at the gym. It was after Atlantics and a few more people were starting to talk to me, asking about the show, etc etc. I had some one approach me between sets to ask if I had done the show and how it went, etc etc.

Last fall I was sporadically hitting this gym when I was home from working in Moncton and this person mentioned I had lost a fair amount of weight to get on stage.

Without thinking I opened my mouth and what came out kind of shocked me “yeah, I’ve lost about 30 pounds”

…. Thirty?

Before photo atlantics9

The difference in those two photos is almost exactly…. 100 lbs.

That dress was a size 18. I now wear well… not quite that.

Yet in that instance I didn’t identify with that girl in the (ugly) purple dress anymore. I was no longer the girl who used to be fat and unhealthy but the girl who had a tough offseason and gained almost 30lbs.

oct 014 So I baked a few too many birthday cakes and Thanksgiving pies. I gave into emotional/boredom eating. I didn’t do enough cardio.

I was lost mentally with the whole unemployment/move/family situation and it showed physically.

But you know what? It wasn’t that bad. Do I regret gaining the weight? no. It happened, I’ve moved on and have adopted a smarter and much  more manageable approach to prep and life.  And looking back I can say that even though I did gain weight I never once feared hitting the 200’s again, losing my lifestyle or my desire to compete and push myself physically.

That girl is no more. I’m not ashamed of my past, if anything I’m damned proud of how hard I’ve worked and how far I’ve come… but that girl has been gone for a very long time. The shy awkward chick who never stood up for herself, was afraid to take any chances and wanted to avoid the spotlight at all costs is now a loud mouthed stubborn self assured woman who still shakes like a leaf on stage…. but gets up there anyway.

tatlantics I’ll never forget where I came from and all the work that has gone into this “lifestyle change”, but for now that’s on the backburner. It’s time to live in the moment, embrace every day as it comes at me and work my butt off to constantly better myself.

When I step on stage in November I want people to say “damn, that girl worked her &$^ off since April” not “… I heard she used to be like.. you know… FAT!”

Maybe I’m crazy. Who knows. All I really do know is I’m still just me. That will never change.

Who do you identify with?

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Comments
  1. wow I really love this post. That moment when you realize that the thing you’d been measuring yourself against is no longer your baseline. AWESOME!!!

  2. Um, random question: what time do you get up to hit the gym in the morning?

    • ihearteggs says:

      Before my shift change (and now on rest days) I get up at 8:30, but on training days now I’m up at 7:45 and at the gym around 9:30-ish. I dont work until 11:45 🙂 …… Way back when I worked 9-5 I was up at 4:45 so this is sleeping in!

  3. Thanks for answering. I have to get up at 5:15 to get a workout in before work, and it seems soooo early to me. I guess I’ll get used to getting up that early, as well as going to bed earlier.

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