In a Weird Way

Posted: August 14, 2012 in Uncategorized

… Things always work out.

As I was walking home tonight from the bus (…through a creepy way old burial ground at that) I just had one of those moments…. Where suddenly everything just felt right.

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Sure, I’m tired. I worked sunday night until 10pm, then slept on my parents couch (with no blanket, nothing. random I know). Mom kicked me around 6 and drove me home on her way to work and I curled up in my bed for an hour and a half before the alarm went off.

It was a foggy and dreary morning, but I got my meal prep done for the day and packed my bag to head off to the gym. I start work later now (yay!) so I had plenty of time to get in, get my chest/tri/mild leg workout done, do a quickie cardio and get to work on time.

Work was work… Let’s be honest, it’s monday and shitty weather. People aren’t thrilled. It happens. More importantly it pays the bills… and for my slightly expensive hobby.

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And then I came home and preformed my new ritual. Flipping on every single light in the house and doing a thorough dead mouse inspection (so far, so good) before flopping onto the couch.

So much has changed in the last year… the last few months really… and it’s been nuts and overwhelming and a big slap in the face lesson sometimes but still I set here feeling like I’m exactly where i need to be. Mentally, physically, emotionally.

There’s still a lot of work to do with prep, but I’ve got 12 1/2 weeks to get there. I’m busting my ass every single day (even if it’s a rest day and I’m busting my ass at sitting on the beach), sticking to my meals and really focusing on what I need to do to improve. There is not a doubt in my mind that come November I’m going to be the best me I have ever been on stage and I will be hella proud of the last year I have put into this no matter what the judges say

A big part of the mental/emotional side is something that… kind of makes me feel like an alcoholic going through the 12 steps. Making Amends. There’s been two cases of that in the last few weeks and honestly I feel much better because of it. Sometimes you need to put aside your pride, be honest and admit your short comings and the real truth. It’s humbling, but freeing.

Nothing is ever perfect in life. There is always something that could be better or changed, but at this point I’m just happy working on those changes and enjoying the now. That’s what it’s all about in the end anyway.

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Comments
  1. “Nothing is ever perfect in life. There is always something that could be better or changed, but at this point I’m just happy working on those changes and enjoying the now.” This hit home for me today. What a beautifully put post.

  2. I am 100% with Alex. This post is awesome and I needed to be reminded that not everything in life will be perfect.

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