Still Hard to Gain

Posted: August 28, 2012 in Uncategorized

So how about that catch up?

Even though the drive up to Fredericton was a bit longer than expected… crazy people driving 90 with nowhere to pass… I still had time to grab a coffee just outside the city and get to the gym with lots of time to spare. I was just on the treadmill doing a quick wake up/warm up when Jody and Julie arrived. Jody     made a joke about how he should have texted to see if I needed coffee…. then he saw the mega cup in my hand.

There is just something to be said about a coach who knows what your vices are.

Lucky (or unlucky) for me Jody decided it was a day to train back/bis and that happened to be my workout for the day so I had a built in spot. I added a few pounds to a few exercises and was able to really get into it knowing I had a little bit of help if I needed it on the last rep or two. Plus, it kind of helps when your coach is watching you. I think you all know what I mean.

It was a great workout, I got to meet two more of the girls on the team…. Katie I’ve been talking to on Facebook since before Atlantics but STILL hadn’t met. Was about time! It’s really a great support system knowing I’m part of such a close team. Everyone is awesome and able to jump around to help you out and encourage you when you really need it.


But yeah, let’s get down to business.

The real reason for my “needed” trip to Fredericton was to help my mental state. Saturday was 11 weeks out and I’m still not doing hard cardio or “dieting” and it’s terrifying. I was really beginning to be filled with a lot of self doubt about being ready and all of that come November.

But… Jody was happy. I look wider.

Okay, I FEEL wider. I FEEL thicker. I FEEL bigger. In the good sense. But in the bad sense mentally. It’s tough knowing I need/want to be bigger and thicker and letting go of that old voice in my head that just wanted to be under 200 lbs and in a single digit size. Gaining size and weight is hard. Even though it’s not like i’m gaining 20-30 lbs I still struggle.

Obviously not enough to quit competing or trying to gain… but enough that sometimes I need a kick in the head to remind me that I’m actually accomplishing my goals and moving forward.

I often wonder if it will get easier, I mean I’ve been competing now for almost three years and living this “lifestyle” (although disordered in the beginning) for even longer. Yes, it’s easier to follow a plan, to get to the gym, to stick to a diet… but it’s still hard mentally and in the mirror. I guess only time will tell.

New workouts and diet come this weekend. I have no idea what’s in store for me, but I do know that I probably still won’t be leaning out hard yet. We’re going to be holding off on that for as long as possible…. so I guess it’s going to be one of those Christmas-like-excitement when the new plan arrives.

The perk of holding off on hard dieting is strength. Not only am I holding onto the gains I made in my (short) offseason, I’m still actually getting stronger. Which is well, kind of awesome. I set my 225lbs deadlift goal by the end of August. I did hit 220 on Sunday, and attempted 225 but it was just not happening. Keep in mind I do deadlifts AFTER leg extensions/squats/ham curls so yeah, my legs are already a bit ugh. If I did them in the beginning I’d probably get my 225, but I’m keeping my workouts as is and will attempt the 225 on my last leg workout this week.

The fun of my leg workouts doesn’t end after deadlifts though…

july29 020

Heavy leg press supersetted with weightless squats. Everything was just feeling lighter Sunday for some reason and even after all that other fun stuff I worked up to 12 plates for 8 reps.

Needless to say my legs are a little done this week.

Like I said Saturday morning I wanted to enjoy the little things in life this weekend. And I did. After the workout I changed into REAL clothes and well… completely forgot about prep and dieting and November.

july29 017

… after the obvious “omgihaveabitofshoulders” photo

My phone was tossed in my purse, lunch was had in a restaurant (… I’m still up in the air if i will continue to on occasion eat out this prep), and then the heels were traded in for flip flops for a late afternoon spent on the beach before a chill evening. Sometimes it’s nice to just catch up with people you don’t often see and forget for just a little while that you’re 11 weeks out and dieting and a freak and all of that crap.

But now… back to life. All I have to say is hooray for a short shift Tuesday! Monday was killer. I need a vacation.

How did you enjoy the little things this weekend?

  1. ann says:

    Seriously.. look at that pic. You look teeny! (in a good way!) Youve got this.

  2. Sable@SquatLikeAlady says:

    Ooooh look at those shoulder caps!!! Looking gooooodddd Becca!

  3. You look freaking awesome!!!! Excited for you and the next 11 weeks 🙂

  4. I’m glad the weekend did what you needed it too. You look awesome fyi. You always inspire me!

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