Saying Goodbye to the Past

Posted: September 15, 2012 in Uncategorized

Sometimes I’m looking for something easy to relate to on Pinterest.

I had a long day yesterday. It was foggy, and a double cruise ship day. What does that have to do with a long day? Well I went to bed at 2am and those damn ships have horns they just love to blow as they’re pulling into the harbour at the ass crack of dawn (which is now 7am instead of my old 4am ass crack of dawn btw). Needless to say I gave up after 20 minutes of falling back asleep, got up, prepped my meals and headed off to the gym.

Sure, I had a kick ass workout, and killer cardio… but once dad picked me up and we did the costco run and off to the parentals to do laundry I was passed out for a 40 minute nap on the couch.

Anyway, I’ve been having a lot of… nerves… self doubt…. freak outs lately over prep.

Eight weeks.

Wow. How did THAT happen? I’m about to hit the road for Fredericton. Team training, group cardio (I’m fearing this) and posing is on the plan then an actual pretty fun afternoon is planned providing the rain holds off.

So I found this quote on Pinterest and I got to thinking about how true it is. I’m not worried about where I’m going to be in November. I know damn well I’ve busted my ass, I’ve put in the work and even though it was a very short off season I know I’ve improved.

pastfuture

What I’m afraid of is repeating the past. Ending up second to last. Again. Going home disappointed in myself even though I know I improved so much from the show before. Even though it did not happen after Atlantics I fear with the holidays right after Provincials I’ll dive back into emotional eating. Stupid placing? Cookies and wine will fix that right up!

Stupid stupid stupid.

I know I’m not that person anymore. I’m stronger, not talking physically, but mentally. As restricted as my food looks right now, this is the most mentally free I’ve felt about “dieting”. Food is fueling my workouts, my desire to improve myself… it’s not comforting me after a bad day or filling a void that’s missing in my life.

Time to say goodbye to that past, it’s not who I am anymore. I have come so far and while I have no intentions of forgetting the road that brought me to where I am, there is no use in dwelling on it and letting it define who I am today.

I’m choosing to move onto bigger and better things.

… Right after cardio.

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Comments
  1. wow that quote is awesome and so true.

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