That Hardcore Thing Again

Posted: October 3, 2012 in Uncategorized

I know this is something I’ve talked about before (probably several times) but the more and more I see of this stuff on twitter and blogs the more it irks me.

Being “hardcore”

Yeah. I used to want to be hardcore, eat the right things…. as in eat the things everyone else thinks were right… train the right way, no rest days, posting day in day out about heavy workouts, hard runs, whatever I did just to prove how “hardcore” I was.

april 5 001

Do you know where that hardcore attitude got me? Sick. No, not physically sick… but mentally sick. Calories, macros, PR’s, outdoing myself every damn day. I needed to know the macros in everything I consumed, I had to find the lowest cal foods to eat the most I could to show the volume of my meals… healthy or not.

Do I still strive to better myself every single day? Yes, of course I do. But now I realize that doesn’t mean I need to add weight or go harder every single cardio. It means listening to my body and understanding that if I’m having an off day I can work to my best potential that day and you know what? I’ll probably come back stronger the next day because of it… not be on the couch bitching about a sore back or busted hip.

june 20 012

Yesterday my asthma was bad. Getting out of bed and walking to the couch required me to stop and catch my breath. You can imagine a fast paced workout and HIIT cardio when that’s the scenario walking to the coffee pot. Did I skip my workout and cardio? No… I felt good enough to do it and i don’t regret doing it. But did I have to take some extra rest between super sets? You bet. Did my hardest interval on cardio look like crap compared to a few days ago? Um yes… Normally I’d say it was embarrassing how out of breath I got after activity that would normally barely have me sweating.

But… then I think back to ten years ago. I was trying to lose weight/make a rowing team/get healthy/whatever and I used to “run” a lot. All of those runs were done with an inhaler tucked into the waistband of my pants because working out was that scary to me. The thought of exerting myself and not having it with me would put me into a panic attack (which of course triggered my asthma). I know that for me, skipping cardio is NOT going to help me get better. It was only when I pushed myself a little bit harder did I get healthy, did i lose the weight and therefore my asthma improved.


Now my lungs are barely a thought in the back of my mind. Most people say I “outgrew” it… no, I didn’t outgrow anything, I got my shit together and got healthy. But yes, I still have asthma and every now and then it likes to kick me in the ass like it did yesterday. I’ve learned that being out of breath and an asthma attack are two totally different things and I can recognize which it is and how to adjust accordingly.

Yesterday I scaled back. I wasn’t “hardcore”, I wasn’t bragging… if anything I was calling myself an 80 year old chain smoker. I was being honest.

At this point in my prep I’m less than 6 weeks out. I have no clue what I weigh, my latest meal plan didn’t include total calories/macros and I didn’t add it up, I don’t know how many calories I burn in a day and really don’t care. Maybe I’ll never be that hardcore all out crazy “healthy freak”, but in my head at least I’m feeling pretty good.

I really can’t complain about that.

  1. This is a really great post and I can’t think you enough for posting it. When I get injured I feel like I go more hardcore about tracking things but I know that I don’t need to be.

  2. 😀
    love it!!!!

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