Some people jump into competing with amazing genetics, already naturally low levels of body fat and walk away with the easy win.
… I am not one of those people.
I started out competing for the wrong reasons, to prove to OTHER people I could do it, to fix my disordered eating, to have a real goal.
Because of those reasons I spent my first two years competing being nothing more than a bottom of the pack, former fat girl who just wanted to get on stage.
… And I did it, and yes, had a lot of fun doing it. But deep down there was always that disappointment with myself that maybe I could do so much more.
After my first show with blueprint I ended up exactly where I always did. Second to last, crying backstage and upset. Thankfully Jody sat me down and we had a long talk. After that I maintained a very strict building diet over the summer, followed my plan to the letter and stepped on stage just over 6 months later 7lbs heavier and ended up 5th place and Blueprint athlete of the year.
Top five had long been my dream goal. I thought once I finally reached that I’d be happy… But of course not, it left me wanting more… Training harder, sticking to the plan and pushing for more.
As soon as I finished prep before and transitioned back to offseason it was right back to adding the extras to my life. Sugar free syrups, jam, extra treats… And then 5 months later I’d be wondering why I had 40lbs to lose.
I’ve finally realized its easier… And healthier… To cut the crap out. Naturally I sit at an average size 6-8… Which is way out of my comfort zone. I knew cutting out the “tasty” things in life would be hard if I didn’t replace it with something else, so I took up cooking more elaborate meals and taking my time to enjoy my food.
Accepting that naturally I’m really just an average everyday person who struggles with my weight has finally led me to a lifestyle I can maintain and use to push myself towards bigger and better stage goals.
(…. Top 3… Top 3… Top 3…)
Being “average” is what is driving me to end up anything but ordinary. This isn’t about a quick fix anymore, it’s become so much more.