Today’s Culture of “Haters”

Posted: February 27, 2013 in Uncategorized

I find it kind of unsettling the amount of times a day I see the word “haters” splashed across Facebook/twitter/blogs/etc.

People calling out these haters for doubting their healthy lifestyle commitment, non-fitness freaks calling their opposites haters because they can’t eat cookies. It goes on and on.

I fully admit way back when I started this blog I got into that mindset.

“Haters gonna hate”
“They’re just jealous”
“Everyone is waiting for me to fail”

Ummm, wake up call Becca. You’re a bottom two figure competitor who still has mega food issues and rebounds 40lbs every offseason. No one is “threatened” enough by you to even waste their time hating on you.

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That’s right, team average and totally okay with it.

When I joined Blueprint in prep for Atlantics almost a year and a half ago I made an unconscious decision to surround myself with positive, supportive people both in real life and my online presence.

From my family, to my coaches and teammates, the blogs and twitter people I follow, I made the choice to stop with the negativity. Getting on stage was a personal choice, I was doing it for me and for once, not the approval of others. Letting go of the mindset I needed to get on stage to prove everyone I could was one of the most freeing things I’ve ever done.

No longer did I feel the need to be the strongest person in the gym, the fastest runner on the trail or the most badass competitor on stage. I checked my ego and went back to basics, focusing on form and health and why I wanted to compete.

That doesn’t mean everything is roses and sunshine. Everyone doesn’t agree with me and that’s what makes me a better person. Now when someone questions something I say or do, I no longer start the jealous hater talk. I educate myself, I ask questions, I explain. Surrounding myself with positive people whose opinion I respect allows me to completely ditch the negative mindset because I know those people are only questioning me because they care about me both as a person and an athlete.

So maybe you’re still in the hater mindset… You think the world is against you… Maybe it’s time to look in the mirror to see whose opinion matters most, and who you need to respect at the end of the day. When you cultivate that negative mindset the only thing you’re doing is fuelling the self doubt and negativity and no one needs that whether they step on stage, run races, or just lift heavy and eat lots of cake.

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Comments
  1. I think that is the problem in the blogging world. Everyone wants to agree with everyone else and some people are threatened…why I don’t know. That being said I don’ know but something about this post struck a deep nerve with me and I am actually in the plans of revamping my blog a bit.

  2. Great post and so true. It’s a wonderful reminder to us all! I know it was a great reminder to me! And I lift and eat cake and am definitely on team average hella yeah! 😎

  3. Victoria says:

    The things that some bloggers call “hate” and “bullying” is amazing to me. Do these people not have real jobs?

    Er…wait, they don’t.

    Sometimes, the things we deny most deeply are the hardest to be confronted by, and our brains will fiercely try to fight any evidence against our model of the world. It’s sad to watch.

  4. Chuck says:

    My constant goal is to just not say anything negative about anyone. If you don’t eat grains, don’t eat meat, do eat meat, do crossfit, do long slow cardio, whatever–that’s your MO. That doesn’t make you less of a person of less deserving a happy life and respect from other. I’ve seen a lot of hating and belittling of other on Twitter lately and I think it’s sad.

    I try to only surround myself with positive people and be positive. Nice post Becca!

  5. For so long, I tried to make myself, my blog, my everything actually to fit in with everyone else and when I would get a negative comment and think everyone was against me. Now, I really don’t care. My blog is for me. It’s my daily journal, diary, and it has helped me through my darkest days of my life. I am living my life for ME now and I’m more than ok with that!

  6. great post!!!!just another reason why i think your awesome!
    πŸ˜€

  7. Exactly, exactly, exactly. I just don’t understand it. When someone calls out a celebrity for making an insensitive comment, they don’t get called a ‘hater.’ When someone disagrees with a politician’s bill or proposal, they don’t get labelled as a ‘hater’ or jealous or whatever. This is a phenomenon that is MUCH more prevalent in blogging. I just think that people need to toughen up and realize that if they are going to have any kind of a public presence, people are going to disagree with them and, yes, call them out when necessary! It’s ridiculous. We’re all so sensitive now.

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