So I’m not a runner.
Yes, I’ve done a couple of races, I’ve got the outfits, but really… I never trained for it. It was always “well I do a lot of cardio, how hard can it be?”
Well… After three weeks of legit training… It can be hard.
Yes, I started this with a pretty decent cardio base so honestly I can’t complain there, but the biggest obstacle so far has nothing to do with my lungs or my legs.
It’s all in my head.
Of course things start out great.
“Yay! Look at me I’m running! This isn’t so hard!! ”
Then week two…
“I’m hungover… Why am I doing this again? Did I have to declare this goal to not only the blog, but the bf too?!”
And then last week…
“Did I really run 10.73 miles last week? Cool! Lets stay on plan and do this shit”
Yes, I’m aware that 10 miles in one week is nothing compared to most runners, but it’s a start.
This morning we woke up with no plans for the day. The bf said he could go for an easy run…. I agreed any run with me is easy for him, so out came the spandex booty shorts (…. For me) and off to the nature park we went.
The sun came out of the fog and it was HOT. Relatively speaking considering how miserable it’s been here, but still hot. We started out and honestly I felt awesome. But then there was zero shade and my head started in on me. I was wearing a tshirt and was convinced it was strangling me (I’m a whack job I know), but I was running… It sucked, but I was doing it.
With about a km left two runners came towards us and the bf said to keep going, he knew them and wanted to say hi. I could have rounded the corner and called it quits. There was the last big hill ahead and it sucks. I looked over my shoulder and saw nothing… But kept running. I slowed down, but never walked. I made it up that stupid hill and decided I would finish before he caught up to me.
… And so I took off. At the last little stretch I saw him closing in on me, but no, he never caught up and finished probably 30 seconds after me.
The final time was a bit slower than the last time, but also 20 degrees hotter. I’m ok with it.
What I’m really ok with was the fact I didn’t give in. So many times I’ve wanted to throw in the towel, stretch it out and pretend I never made this goal, but I can’t. And I won’t.
I need to prove this to myself. I need to accomplish a goal that has nothing to do with the size of my ass, finish a strange goal I started, and more than anything I need to prove to myself I can be more than just a girl in a bikini.
One of my initial reactions after a run one day was I actually felt like and athlete. I was finding myself appreciating my body for what it was capable of rather than everything it was not like I tend to do.
Suddenly it wasn’t “my shoulders suck” or “I hold too my fat in my midsection” it was… “Damn… Did I just run that hard for that long?!?”
And that mentality right there is more than enough to keep me pushing through on this goal.