Size, Shame and Self Worth

Posted: November 12, 2013 in Uncategorized

It’s no big secret I used to be a much different person than I am now. For years I dreamed of just being under 200lbs, hiding my body shame under big baggy sweaters and XL stretch pants…. Because you couldn’t buy jeans in my size here.

It was always the same old story “you have such a pretty face…”, “I bet if you lost weight you’d get a boyfriend”, etc etc. if only life was that easy right? It took several tries at me changing my life around for it to stick. I never stayed “skinny” when I got a bf… I mean he liked me for me, right? Bring on the pasta and red wine.

What I wish someone had said was “I bet if you lost weight you’d be able to walk a block without dying”… Or how about “improving yourself physically will encourage you to improve other areas of your life too”

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Deciding to take my health into my own hands over the size of my pants or a number on a scale is when it all started to turn around for me. For the first time in my life I natural began to recognize hunger cues and learn how to eat to fuel my day and workouts… Not drop ten pounds by the end of the month.

Now I take pride in my accomplishments, even if I’ll never have a six pack or massive shoulders, I’m well aware my self worth doesn’t depend on those factors.

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I workout because I found something I enjoy doing, that challenges me and because it keeps me healthy and happy. People often think they need to take up running or weight lifting or crossfit to lose weight and be healthy…. But they hate it. Why do something that makes you miserable?

Life is too short. Yes, be healthy and active, but why let a number on the scale define you or shame you into thinking you’re less of a person?

I naturally sit about 10 lbs over what I used to think was the top range of my “happy weight”. I’m sure if I actually got on the scale now it would bother me a bit, but what’s the point? I could let that number bum me out a few times a week or I could go on enjoying life and challenging myself in ways other than “weight loss”

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I’m pretty sure this picture sums it all up. I’m choosing to laugh, have fun and be just a little ridiculous over worrying about my belly in spandex.

So yeah, life is good.

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Comments
  1. I’m glad you are enjoying yourself Becca. I think that is one of the most important things (if not the most important). Yes, losing weight could make you confident but there are many cases and points (see blogging world) that losing weight makes people more anxious and less confident. You are awesome and living the dream life.

  2. Good for you! There is such an undercurrent of shame in the fitness world- not always and not all of it, but a lot- and even if fitness is important and wonderful, that doesn’t mean it should (or needs to) come at the expense of mental health and overall wellbeing. Your perspective is fantastic!

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