Posts Tagged ‘dieting’

About “Balance”

Posted: August 20, 2014 in Uncategorized
Tags: ,

On one of my recent blogs I received a comment suggesting I check out/email a well known diet coach. This coach specializes in eating disorders and the like. At first I was offended because I knew exactly what was being implied… Then I was mad because “omg I know what’s being implied”… But the more I think about that comment, I more I realize how I don’t share everything here, but how truly different things are for me now.

Monday to Friday I tend to eat the same things daily. It’s easy, it’s a habit and I actually enjoy my food. Wednesday evenings are a crap shoot because it’s date night. Sometimes we take turns cooking, sometimes we have frozen pizza and sorbet. Balance.

The thing I find so different now is saying “balance”. There’s no all or nothing dieting mentality, no binging, no hunger.

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That was once “normal” for me offseason. Pretty much an entire bag of tostitos, beef, veggies, tons of cheese. I would chase this with icecream and spend the remainder of the day on the couch, feeling sick… But worse, feeling sick with myself for going to such an extreme.

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This is where I’m at now. Splitting a reasonable amount of nachos and having a drink. That’s it. Eating my part and feeling satisfied, not stuff and not disgusted with myself immediately following. There’s no restriction or punishment for days after, just another day.

I may not be perfect. I may still struggle with self image and wanting to look better in my clothes. To me, that’s human nature. Who doesn’t want to feel comfortable in their skin? I have no desire to have size 0 clothing hanging off me and chase abs, it’s not realistic and I’m ok with that. For once I have no outside motivation to look better, there’s no jerk guy who prefers me lean/bigger, there’s no looming show date, it’s really just about being confident and feeling healthy and active.

Maybe I’ll always have those disordered thoughts in the back of my mind, the fact I recognize them and know how impossibly stupid they are is what keeps me sane. There’s going to be set backs and “life happens” moments with food/running/gym…. But that doesn’t mean I need to go to extremes anymore. Enjoy the moment and move forward. It truly is about progress, not perfection

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